Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
