She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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