I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
