I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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