Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
