You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i've created a new STD.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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