ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
