when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize