Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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