I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
