seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Please don't give away my fajitas
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
