nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Randomize
