is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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