Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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