After last night, I could never be a politician.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
