so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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