What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His hands were made for my vagina.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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