Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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