I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
