Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize