Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize