i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
