How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
