This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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