im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
