What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
jump out the window naked night went bad
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