I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
