I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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