$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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