I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
