Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
