So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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