Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
