is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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