But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
