I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
