I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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