C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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