My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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