I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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