So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
