Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
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