is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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