It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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