Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
