I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
