got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
