i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
