Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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