Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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