Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
