Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
