she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't turn off my feet"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
