how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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