You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
