You're my little dorito
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
