Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
