you guys were way drunker than both of me
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
