thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
