I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
