you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize